There is no getting away from it. Words carry an energy charge all of their own, and the word 'Cancer' is especially difficult. The word I now use - 'CanSur' - has an entirely different energy.
Allow me to explain.
We naturally warm to people with the same names as a loved one. Or, thinking of someone we don’t like, we have a natural distaste for that particular name. For us, names carry a positive or negative charge. For example, there are names that people now in their 50s and 60s shunned to use for their children. These are becoming fashionable with the generation now in their 20s and 30s because for them, these names do not carry the same associations – names such as Reginald, Frederick, Archibald, Albert, Iris, George, Ruby, Eunice, Henry, Mabel. To people of my generation, these are the old people’s names of our childhood, carrying the energy of people at the end of their lives not at the beginning. I would never have burdened a child of mine with one of those names.
The same principle applies to the hateful word ‘Cancer’. It carries within its vibrational energy field all the sorrow, fear, loss, hopelessness, grief and devastation of all the people who have ever suffered directly or indirectly from this dreadful disease. It has become a thought form in itself. I personally think the word ‘Cancer’ carries a far greater negative charge than the word ‘Death’. Death is clean and final, but Cancer suggests despair and suffering without hope with a bitter end to life.
‘Cancer’ is a word whispered to others in the hushed tones of the morgue – “she has cancer you know…” …“oh, how terrible”. People automatically assume Cancer is a death sentence before you’ve even had the chance to explain it’s been caught early and is curable. You have to deal with that negative energy and judgement flowing into your energy field, dragging you down with all the associations of hopelessness when you are already hurting.
And when you have this disease, the word is everywhere - on the television with infomercials, news items of marathons and runs to defeat Cancer, pink ribbon days, people collecting for various Cancer charities outside supermarkets. The reminders, along with the word, are everywhere. Many cancer sufferers will tell you that they will now switch channels if they see an advert for Cancer Research. The word is a burden for all people associated with this disease. (And as an aside, I recently refused to give to a Cancer charity and was berated by the supermarket collector for being heartless. In my opinion, until Cancer Research directly addresses the causes of the disease, such as the role played by diet, pollutants and lifestyle, it is merely the realm of Big Pharma and I will not fund it.)
So, it is a word I will not use. Before my operation, I used the words ‘lump in my breast’. Those words carried a far less negative charge, and just saying the words I felt more at peace. This was something I could handle, something almost unthreatening, something that could be dealt with.
Now that the lump has gone, I refer to it as the ‘Condition’, because as far as I am concerned I still have the ‘Condition’ until my Cancer T cell markers are at zero. It is still a ‘C’ word, but it does not carry too much negativity. I am comfortable using it, and everyone knows what I am referring to when I do use it. But now that I am writing about Cancer in this blog, the word once more raises its ugly, negative head.
So, from now on, I will write the word ‘CanSur’. Phonetically it sounds the same, but it feels so much kinder, gentler and optimistic. For me CanSur is a short for CancerSurvivor or CanSurvive. It also contains the positive words 'can' and 'sûr' - 'sure' in French. CanSur is a word full of gentle fighting spirit.
Now I find when I write CanSur, it has no negative charge attached to it at all, in fact I have written it so many times that it now has a positive charge. Cancer Survivor. That’s me.